Five ⇒

So here it is. September 12. 5 years ago, I remember thinking “I can’t believe she is a week old already.” Huh. You blink and a week has gone by. Blink again and it’s been five years.

I’m writing this post at 11:30 p.m. I can’t sleep. I need to sleep because we have to get up early for school. Personally, I’d rather sit at the table with my girl and play with the stuff she got at her birthday party today.

It was yet another animal themed party - puppies this time. That’s amusing because Elise is quite afraid of dogs but she LOVES to play that she and Daniella are puppies or one is the puppy and the other is owner. One day I may tell the girls they can have human themed parties as well but the animal ones are so much fun to plan. The kids made jewelled dog collars. We played “owner says” ran a race where the kids had to eat out of dog dishes (with their names glittered on them, thank you very much), and the grand finale was a dog show where the puppies performed tricks with their owners.

So my Elise. Five. What can a mother say but I am incredibly proud of my beautiful girl. It has always been her eyes for me. They are so big and so full of trust. She still calls me Mama and I so hope that she never stops (although lately the tone is which she says the word is a little grating.) This child is as sensitive as always. Case in point: we’re watching Madagascar and a crocodile jumps up and snaps up a little duckling that Marty and company have just rescued. Elise bursts into tears. She is feeling very proud and grown up now that she’s five. She refused to hold my hand on the way from the gym to the Kindergarten classroom on the first day of school. She still climbs into bed with me “coming in for snuggles” if she wakes up in the middle of the night.

She is the perfect blend of little girl and baby. Old enough and independent enough to get herself dressed and pour milk on her cereal. Small enough to climb on my lap and “tuck in”

I was saying to Erin tonight through my ridiculous tears that I have been with her 24/7 for 4 and a half years (less the 6 months I worked between E and D) yet I feel like I’ve missed so much and wasted so much time. And so it is midnight and I am awake when I should be asleep. Thinking about my baby who is a little girl.